HorseTippers
Mar 3, 2015 1:27:44 GMT -5
Post by Jon on Mar 3, 2015 1:27:44 GMT -5
I like this guy - makes me laugh. And it is sort of slow now
Horse tippers
By Jay Cronley
This is the horse-tipping season.
Everybody is picking up a Derby horse. Some of them can even walk and chew carrots at the same time.
One of the hardest things about picking horses in public is the time constraint. Pro pickers, who often get paid a little something no matter where their horses finish, have to pick early to get their selections on a page or on a screen. Picking early is difficult for two reasons. One, if a pick is published mid-week for a weekend horse race, you have to guess at a track bias and weather. Two, you don't get the benefit of the rotten predictions popping up from all the terrible handicappers around the country.
Seeing that a bad picker has picked a trendy Derby horse is as good as public picking gets.
What does a person who picks horses in public think of the reaction when one of his or her selections runs a poor race? It depends. The Internet is chock full of people who seem angry and complain for no reason. Pick a Derby horse that finishes 17th and the picker is apt to avoid reading the responder sections for the next cycle or two. Particularly vile responses to unfortunate picks defeat the intent of the reply sections, which is to encourage human harmony.
Did you see what the Headless Horseman said about your Derby pick that closed late to finish 14th?
Are you crazy? There's no way I'd ever read that nonsense.
If you make your Derby pick public before the race starts, when picking is at its most difficult, then you get to talk about my Derby pick.
Otherwise save the outrage for a politician.
No picks, no rights.
Not betting and cheering against a public handicapper's pick is apt to attract bad losses like flies to pizza crust.
Here's an appropriate horse picking story.
Once before a Derby-day racing card, I did a picking seminar that attracted a crowd of a couple of hundred, about half hats and no handle, and half serious horse players. The Derby field was typically puzzling. My final analysis resulted in a four-horse box that included one of each of the basic running styles -- speed, closer, stalker, plus pure luck, plus a horse that could sneak through on the rail. The highest price on a horse in my picks was 15-1.
After the picking presentation, a man approached the dais and said, "Let's go."
He was a serious man of noticeable girth.
"Go where?" I said.
"Go bet your picks," he replied.
"I already did."
"Let's see the ticket."
I showed him the $5 box on the four touted horses.
"Good work," the man from the audience said, thumping me on the shoulder.
A sports opinion without a legal wager is a waste of time and air.
So rest assured as you accumulate Derby picks, you'll have plenty of company from the pro pickers who believe in the honor system. If a public horse picker doesn't bet exactly what he or she touted, or if you bet something other than what you predicted, then the worst of gambling karma will reign down upon you like the wrath of Thor.
Horse tippers
By Jay Cronley
This is the horse-tipping season.
Everybody is picking up a Derby horse. Some of them can even walk and chew carrots at the same time.
One of the hardest things about picking horses in public is the time constraint. Pro pickers, who often get paid a little something no matter where their horses finish, have to pick early to get their selections on a page or on a screen. Picking early is difficult for two reasons. One, if a pick is published mid-week for a weekend horse race, you have to guess at a track bias and weather. Two, you don't get the benefit of the rotten predictions popping up from all the terrible handicappers around the country.
Seeing that a bad picker has picked a trendy Derby horse is as good as public picking gets.
What does a person who picks horses in public think of the reaction when one of his or her selections runs a poor race? It depends. The Internet is chock full of people who seem angry and complain for no reason. Pick a Derby horse that finishes 17th and the picker is apt to avoid reading the responder sections for the next cycle or two. Particularly vile responses to unfortunate picks defeat the intent of the reply sections, which is to encourage human harmony.
Did you see what the Headless Horseman said about your Derby pick that closed late to finish 14th?
Are you crazy? There's no way I'd ever read that nonsense.
If you make your Derby pick public before the race starts, when picking is at its most difficult, then you get to talk about my Derby pick.
Otherwise save the outrage for a politician.
No picks, no rights.
Not betting and cheering against a public handicapper's pick is apt to attract bad losses like flies to pizza crust.
Here's an appropriate horse picking story.
Once before a Derby-day racing card, I did a picking seminar that attracted a crowd of a couple of hundred, about half hats and no handle, and half serious horse players. The Derby field was typically puzzling. My final analysis resulted in a four-horse box that included one of each of the basic running styles -- speed, closer, stalker, plus pure luck, plus a horse that could sneak through on the rail. The highest price on a horse in my picks was 15-1.
After the picking presentation, a man approached the dais and said, "Let's go."
He was a serious man of noticeable girth.
"Go where?" I said.
"Go bet your picks," he replied.
"I already did."
"Let's see the ticket."
I showed him the $5 box on the four touted horses.
"Good work," the man from the audience said, thumping me on the shoulder.
A sports opinion without a legal wager is a waste of time and air.
So rest assured as you accumulate Derby picks, you'll have plenty of company from the pro pickers who believe in the honor system. If a public horse picker doesn't bet exactly what he or she touted, or if you bet something other than what you predicted, then the worst of gambling karma will reign down upon you like the wrath of Thor.